Monday, January 3, 2011

THOR Review (without seeing it)

I was never a big THOR fan. On the surface, he talks funny and has no real flaws or weaknesses which gets incredibly one dimensional.  He can control storms and lightning and the hammer was cool, but I never read a THOR story that really interested me. I always like him in the Avengers, but never as a stand alone character.

Then I read Siege and my thoughts on Goldilocks took a turn.  If you haven't read the Siege story arc or Thor v3 1-13, I'll spare you all the details but its awesome and something you should definitely check out.

So, I'm now a believer that a Thor movie can be kick ass.

What I Want To See:
Frost Giants - If there isn't some serious "Lord of the Rings" style battles on Asgard, this is a huge waste.

Deception -  Loki is a great villain; he's Thor's half brother and Odin's son, he's got a sense of entitlement, and he's a sneaky prick.  He's the god of mischief, which sounds really lame, but if written correctly Loki can be a perfect villain. Writers should basically model him after Hans Gruber from Die Hard.

Fighting - If there is anything to learn from Superman Returns, its that the audience wants to see super heroes actually hit something.

An Amon Amarth song - I don't even really listen to this band, but they put THOR on one of their covers and are one of the biggest "Viking Metal" bands out right now.  Throw em a bone.

What I DON'T Want To See:
A Played-out Love Story - Transformers is the archetype of focusing on a love story instead of some of the other more entertaining aspects of the story, like 20 foot robots that transform and shoot lasers and destroy shit. A love story can definitely help make THOR more personable, but I hope it doesn't take precedent over some of the other cooler aspects of the film.

Crowbarred Easter Eggs - Jon Favreau got bummed because he had to put references to upcoming movies in Iron Man 2.  This is the same guy that kept a shot of Captain America's shield in the first Iron Man to "see if anyone would notice".  Easter Eggs are great when they're quick and subtle.

The Rainbow Bridge - Come on. This was never cool.

After watching the trailer, its pretty simple to piece together the basis of the movie.  Thor thinks he's all high and mighty, gets cocky enough to bum Odin out (wow), and is banished to Earth.  Some shit happens with S.H.I.E.L.D., Natalie Portman is into blondes, and the Destroyer armor blows some shit up.  I think trailers give too much away, but I doubt that's the extent of the story.

As I said above, Loki is a sneaky prick. Some of the best story arcs involve Loki convincing everyone he's cool, then he does some very UNcool shit.  We know that the Destroyer armor needs to be controlled by someone, and that it was created by Odin, so its not far fetched to think that Odin would send it to Earth to test Thor.  WHAT IF Loki stole the armor, sent it to Earth, killed off Thor's lady, told Thor that Odin was controlling the armor, which leads to Thor killing Odin.  Thor gets banished and Loki is now the ruler of Asgard.  Loki would use his new found power to attack Earth with the army of Asgard, which would be too much for any one superhero to fight alone.  If you're not picking up what I'm talking about, its basically the first issue of the AVENGERS comic, where Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Ant-Man, and Wasp fought Loki.

"And there came a day, a day unlike any other, when Earth's mightiest heroes and heroines found themselves united against a common threat. On that day, the Avengers were born — to fight the foes no single super hero could withstand! Through the years, their roster has prospered, changing many times, but their glory has never been denied! Heed the call, then — for now, the Avengers Assemble!"
— Prologue from The Avengers

(posted by Douger)

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