Spider-man, Spider-man...George Takei should be Spider-man.

This week belongs to George Takei.  He's doing all kinds of awesome shit on Howard Stern as the guest announcer for the week and now he's lobbying for the Spider-man role in "Turn Off the Dark".  Its more of a cheap advertising ploy for his new musical (Allegiance, coming in 2012), but it makes sense.  He's got great moves, a great voice, and great musculature.

I haven't seen "Turn Off The Dark", but I have a feeling George would make it better.

Oh my.

A Star Wars Parody That Isnt Nauseating

Star Wars parodies can be the absolute worst. Just hearing the opening credits with people's rinky dink, second rate bullshit give me douche chills.

Against all odds, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost made something real funny.  When dudes are wearing garbage can lids on their heads, you know its gonna be good.

Now THESE are the droids I've been looking for.

Legend of Zelda - Skyward Sword

Can't wait.

Dog Poop Insurance

No one likes to step in dog shit, especially in Vans. I'm surprised Foot Locker doesn't offer this yet.

Charlie Sheen vs. Mike Tyson Quote Quiz

I love Mike Tyson, and not in an "ironic" way.  My dad would take me to sports bars when I was a kid to watch Tyson's fights because he thought it was a waste of money to get Pay-Per-View for a fight that only lasted 30 seconds. There would be so much build up and the commentators would convince you that the other guy had a chance, then Iron Mike would lay the dude out instantly. Tyson's trainer, Cuz D'Amato, literally took a kid off the street and made him a champion.  After D'Amato died, Don King took over and made him down a road that led to jail and face tattoos, but Tyson is still my favorite fighter of all time. If you haven't seen the Tyson documentary, check it out. He's also in some show on Animal Planet about his pigeons.

Personal shinfo aside, ESPN made up this quiz where you have to figure out who said it: Charlie Sheen or Mike Tyson.

1. "Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists."

a) Charlie Sheen
b) Mike Tyson

2. "My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"
a) Charlie Sheen

b) Mike Tyson

3. "It's like I'm a naked tornado that comes through a city and there's just so much wreckage. There's so much destruction, and when it's finally over, it's like the morning after and you're sober and ... what the f--- happened here?"

a) Charlie Sheen
b) Mike Tyson

Hit the jump for more questions and the answer key.

The Ramones and The Misfits Want Different Things

Stolen from Buske's Tumblr.

Philadelphia Eagle Owner/Oscar Winner

Jeff Lurie has been called many things, and as owner of the Philadelphia Eagles I'm sure not all of them have been nice. After last night, he can now be called "Academy Award Winner".

Lurie, who's worth a billion dollars, owns a production company that produced "Inside Job" about the financial crisis.  Unlike his Eagles, the documentary was able to go all the way and win the big one.

Hopefully Lurie gets the acting bug and takes on the roll of "owner willing to pay all-pro players to come to the Eagles" this offseason.

Pay the man. Seriously.

A Parody of the Volkswagon Commercial that was a Parody of Star Wars

What if that Darth Vader kid actually did harness the power of the dark side? I think it would go something....like this:

Captain Tupac Sparrow

Ahoy, mother fucker!

This young lady decided that she wanted to get a portrait of Tupac on her back.  Pretty sweet idea, Tupac is cool.

Then she was over Tupac and went into a "Pirates of the Caribbean" phase, so add some long hair, that braid thing, a longer goatee, a sweet hat (you can see the outline of the top of his head through the hat), and a bandana and...TA DA!...Captain Jack Sparrow! Kind of.

Since when did Tupac or Jack Sparrow have a lazy eye?

Thanks to John Campbell from Lamb of God for the pic.

Watson Wins Jeopardy. Shocker.

IBM figured it wasn't enough to totally humiliate humans by crushing our best at chess, now they're beating us at a game that only old people watch. The nerve.

Watson (whose remarkably large size makes us forget we live in 2011) went mano a mano a mano against 2 Jeopardy big wigs; Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter.  They even gave him a little hydraulic buzzer, which appears to have shorted out Ken and Brad's buzzer, because they got spanked. Big surprise to everyone but the IBM programmers who's hands must be tired from all the back patting going on throughout the 3 day event.

Jennings took the loss with ass kissingly good humor by adding this to his final answer:

It makes sense for him to hedge his bets, since Judgement Day can't be too far off, but look at the pic at the very top and tell me where Jennings' left hand is. Clearly, we're just provoking the machines at this point.

Markets of Britain : Buy. Sell. Steal.

I'm not that familiar with Lee Titt, but he's apparently the UK's best documentary film maker.

This film follows Lee around the beautiful, exciting, exotic and erotic markets of Britain.  You can find anything from murderer's tools, sex robots, human eggs and what appears to be a snake.

The entire doc was filmed in Titt-Vision.

Thanks to THE CHOOCH for letting me steal this off his blog without telling him.

Spider-Man : Best. Week. Ever.

So first, we see that Pete gets a spot on the Fantastic Four The Future Foundation and an ultra slick new white and black costume, and now the Spider-man reboot can officially be called "The Amazing Spider-man".  Pretty...pretty.....pretty good.

I'm excited to read the new FF, but the variant cover above confuses me.  Obviously everyone on the cover  is excited that Spidey is on the team, but aren't they a little TOO happy? I mean, Johnny Storm just died guys.  Tone it down a bit. The team consists of 3/4 of the Fantastic Four, the two Richards kids, and then I'm lost.  I suppose that's a gargoyle, 2 mutant birds, a flying alien monkey head, some other stereotypical looking aliens, and a Sleestak lurking under Sue Storm's underarm?

The new teaser picture for Amazing Spider-Man looks awesome.  His costume doesn't look like he made it in his bedroom like in the comics, but for the first time in a long time it looks like he's wearing web shooters. Pretty cool.

The Big LEGO Lebowski

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good LEGO recreation. This isn't as good as some others, but at least it doesn't involve Star Wars or some weird european dance groove.

Movie Shinfo

Instead of streaming a twitter account that tells you everything on a site you're already reading, I'm going to replace my twitter stream with "Movie Shinfo". The twitter account is run by my good friend/bitter enemy, Zack, who has agreed to wear a fake goatee and sunglasses and take over my husband/father duties in the likely event that I die soon.

Follow MovieShinfo here.
Follow Zack's life shinfo here.

By the Power of Grayskull!

Castle Grayskull only has one weakness. Warm weather.

Hit the jump for a video of the fort/castle all lighted up and shit.

Sucker Punch - The Art of the Film

Titan Books is offering a limited edition collectible book signed by director Zack Snyder (Watchmen, 300, that awesome My Chemical Romance video). Here's the press release:

From Warner Bros. Pictures and directed by Zack Snyder, Sucker Punch hits movie screens in March 2011. To celebrate the release of this extraordinary epic action fantasy, Zack Snyder and Titan Books are offering fans an unprecedented opportunity to secure a spectacular limited edition of the official tie-in book ahead of the release of the eagerly awaited film.

The movie looks cool, I like Zack Snyder's work a lot, but what I'm most excited about is seeing Alex Pardee's work from the movie in the collection. I've met Alex through ETID, and I've been a fan of his ever since. You can order it here.

Hit the jump for more info about the book. 

Real Life (French) Mario Kart

This was created by French writer/producer Rémi Gaillard. I think its real. At first it seems like it isn't, but keep watching. 

The Road to Shermer : A Tribute to John Hughes

If you live in the Southern California area, you should definitely check out Gallery 1988. Its like an art gallery for people who don't want to go to art galleries.  They do all kinds of cool shows and showcase a bunch of upcoming artists.  I went to the "Gremlins, Ghostbusters, and Goonies" exhibit and it was awesome.

A new exhibit is opening tomorrow at their Venice gallery showcasing some artwork inspired by John Hughes, the acclaimed 80s movie director who brought us Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and a ton others.

50 artists contributed to the gallery but none more awesome, talented and super cool as my good buddy, Jordan Buckley. He's been destroying the art world with his brand of highly detailed, disgustingly beautiful pieces for the past couple years and is only getting better as time goes on.  I'm proud of him, so go out and support him, you bums.

His piece is best described in his own words:
Doing research for my contribution to Gallery 1988’s upcoming tribute to John Hughes sure was stressful. I had to watch “Planes, Trains and Automobiles”, “Uncle Buck” and “Ferris Bueller”. But it wasn’t until I rewatched “The Great Outdoors” for the 30th time that inspiration struck in the form of a purple grizzly bear rump. In my version, though, all is forgiven.

The exhibit opens tomorrow from 7-10pm at:
214 Pier Avenue, Santa Monica, CA 90405

For more information about the exhibit go to www.GALLERY1988.com.

While you're at it, follow Jensen Karp on twitter.  He helps run the gallery and his tweets are LOLz-heavy.

Arthur Remake

Wazzzzzzzaaaaaaaap.

I'm not a huge fan of the original "Arthur". The movie is 90% Dudley Moore acting drunk (acting?), slurring his sentences, and laughing ear splittingly high. So, there's probably room for improvement.

Russell Brand looks funny, Jennifer Garner is hot, Helen Mirren is uptight and stuffy.  Win/win/win!

Captain America, Fuck Yeah